Just An Evening In With Me And Some AB/DL's

I realize that I am completely in 1997 with my discovery of the AB (adult baby) and DL (diaper lovers) fetish, but it was like the first time I discovered the HJ's (last year)- I was intrigued and also grossed out.  People are into this.  And this.  And this.  But you know, these are just regular people who love diapers, and the adults who wear them.  They like dogs, and stories, and John Lennon.  And they need to make some things clear- these people are not  child molesters and the quickly expel such sickos when they are found out.  I totally give them props, I mean, they are daring to other and expose a group of people who practice weird and fetishistic desires surrounding childhood! You know what, Adult Babies, take a stand!  Defend the child inside who longs to wear a poopie diaper and get breast fed!  Defend children against exploitation!  Don't let images of them get jerked off to!  Defend your right to think that babies are sexy ('cause they are, and so is this)! 

Oddly enough- the Japanese are really into AB/DL.  Huh.  I REALLY didn't see that coming. 

 

This is an ode to AB/DL's everywhere.  Really it's just a collection of songs that I think they would like, nice and relaxing, you know.  

John Lennon- Imagine

Christina Agulara- You Are Beautiful

Flogging Molly- Drunken Lullabies (they can be hard-core(ish)!)

The Cure- Lullaby (they can be make-up clad and depressed(ish)!)

Prince- Do Me, Baby

Bob Marley- Get Up, Stand Up

George Micheal- Freedom!

The Beatles- You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

Hall and Oates- Adult Education

You get my point right?  Honestly this is freaking me out too much to think about it any longer.

The moral of the story?  You have to expect that everyone you meet for the first time might by an AB/DL, because they look just like you and me, especially if they are Japanese.*

*Editor's Note: I didn't mean me, I don't look Japanese, I just didn't want to seem racist- you know?  You might look Japanese, and thats okay!  You can do whatever makes you happy- even if that IS being Japanese.  

Sexy For "The Cure"

No, I'm not talking about the Sussex nightmare of 1976 (alright I do like The Cure, but at the same time I acknowledge that it’s not going to get me anywhere- just like being 22), but something much funnier. What’s funnier than Just Like Heaven? I’ll tell you what is- being sexy for The Cure on Halloween. Makes you feel funnier than listening to Just Like Heaven doesn’t it? That’s because it is. I don’t mean funny like when a Mormon asks you if he can go “south of the boarder” on your first date (that happened to my friend, not me, I swear I would never go out with a Mormon), or funny like when you see a pregnant teenager on the day of her GED graduation smoking cigarettes in the back parking lot, or funny like this- No I mean you feel funny like when you smell fermenting menstrual blood in the gas station bathroom, or funny like being a hot cop on Halloween, or funny like wanting to live in a building with a fountain outside. These songs and their mille fois (it’s French!) make me feel funny in a lot of different ways, Par Example (French!): funny like a Hitler mustache, funny like a “that’s what she said” joke and funny like when you wake up and realized that you shaved your cat and left only his paws furry.


Charlene- Never Been To Me
UB40- I’m Gonna Make You Sweat*
Riskay- Smell Yo’ Dick
April Stevens- Teach Me Tiger**
Grease (The Musical)- Summer Nights
Destiny’s Child- Cater 2 U***
Melissa Ethridge- Come Into My Window
Tracy Champman- Fast Car****
Wu Tang Clan- Method Man*****
Shaggy- It Wasn’t Me
Gweneth Paltrow & Huey Lewis- Crusin’ Together
TLC- Red Light Special

Can you think of other songs that make you go hmmm? If you can’t C&C Music Factory has an extensive list of things that make you go hmmm that you can draw some inspiration from.


*More Rapey than the Bob Marley version and infinitely less cool.
** Again, more Rapey than the others
*** More Rapey isn’t necessarily what we are looking for to put you in this list- this song if less Rapey than let’s say I Would Die 4 U or other songs with number letter short cuts. But you don’t have to take my word for it!
**** It’s not just because they are both gay, get off my case!
***** I believe this actually refers directly to anal rape, but again, not the only thing that should make you feel funny about this.

"Slow Jamz": Volume One

You know what I mean-- "Slow Jamz". I believe someone was not so subtle not too long ago and named theirs "I'm Trying To Get In Your Pants". Same thing. You remember all those compilations that they sold on late night television with like twenty five disks. Who needs 38 hours of sexy songs? I don't. You see the art of "Slow Jamz" is to trick the person you apply it on. Yeah, application like a salve or a game that you load on your new iTouch. You are sitting in the dark drinking some scotch or some port on your leather couch and you say casually and kindof loudly "Lets turn on some music?!". You've got it in the bag (especially after the Roofie/Viagra combo that you have soaked the glass in and let dry before you went out "dancing" at The Fez). And this is why:

Steely Dan- Dirty Work
Beck- No Complaints
Bill Withers- Use Me
Shelby Lynne- Dream Some
Crowded House- Into Temptation
Amy Winehouse- Love Is A Losing Game
The Roots- Coming To Break You Off
A Tribe Called Quest- Electric Relaxation
Erykah Badu- Next Lifetime
Lauren Hill- Nothing Even Matters
Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto- Corcovado
Sondre Lerche & The Faces Down Quartet- (You Knocked Me) Off My Feet
Billie Holiday- Some Other Spring
Omara Portuondo- Veinte Anos
Andre 3000- Prototype

Now, I understand that you are surprised that there is no Jack Johnson or The Basement Jaxx on this mix, but again, I cannot stress enough (Roofie/Viagra) that this is supposed to be sexy, and what says sexy more than a girl who smokes crack? or suggesting that we could be butterflies? or a language other than English? or begging to be used, until you are used up. All I'm saying is look out- Because I have a sexy mix and a sexy amount of sedatives.

(2008 is the new 2003 does not technically condone the use of Flunetrazapam in combine with Slidenafil citrate in a sexual setting. We are just saying that its something to consider.)